While browsing Twitter, I came across a Vogue feature article written by Jami Attenburg that covered the effect the digital age has had on old-fashioned courting in relationships.
By courting I’m referring to phone calls versus text messages. Actual dating versus the modern “microwave” relationship. My generation has replaced getting to know someone with DM’s and Netflix and chill. The thought of actually going out on a few dates, long phone conversations, and other avenues to really get to know one another is extinct this day and age. Along with men opening doors, pulling out chairs, and other standard acts of chivalry. (Sidebar: My best friend and I were on a lunch date recently and as we were exiting the restaurant a man was entering, instead of opening the door for us he stood waiting for us to open the door for him. You see where I’m going with this?)
Basic things like calling to say good morning versus texting, hearing someone’s voice before you go to bed, hearing actual laughs versus LOL’s has become non-existent. Jami says in the article, “I would love a phone call from a man. I would love to hear the sound of his voice. I used to be scared of phone calls because you can’t see the other person’s expression. I wanted to know if they were smiling or not. Now I long for tone. Tone would be so sexy. I long to know if I’ve charmed a man, if I’ve made him laugh. LOL, you seem insincere to me sometimes. Real-life laughter would please me, would flatter me.”
I yearn for eye contact. Eye contact would drive me wild. I’m begging for stimulating conversation that exceeds the typical ‘wyd?’ We all want the type of love our grandparents tell us about but aren’t willing to really earn it. These days everything and everyone is so easily accessible that nothing is really valued anymore. Jami’s article sparked a conversation that’s frequently in the whispers. When are we going to start requiring more from one another? If ever. When is it going to take more than a few “good morning” texts and heart eyes on an Instagram photo to really grasp our attention? The digital age as a whole has altered an entire generation’s view on relationships, monogamy, and respect to name a few.
Take a peek at Jami’s article for her take on the digital age and it’s effects on our dating scene.